The Family in Plymouth Colony

The Husband.
In the Pilgrim household, the father was the head of the household. He was expected to maintain his authority, and not let any of it be usurped by his wife, children, or servants. The husband was expected to love his wife with the same passion and strength as Christ loved His Church. William Gouge, in his Of Domestical Duties (a book published in 1611, and owned by William and Alice Bradford,) recommends that a husband be kind and accepting of the things his wife does, provide her means of spiritual edification, be courteous, protect her from danger, don't require her to do activities unbecoming of her place, and yield to her "humble" desires whenever possible. Gouge, along with several other Puritan authors, including John Dod and the Pilgrims' pastor John Robinson, argue that beating a wife for discipline was not appropriate or productive (although not illegal, nor outright condemned). To deal with difficult wives that do not properly submit to their husband's authority, they recommended other disciplinary measures, such as depriving her of liberty, and not permitting her to engage in the activities she desires.

The Wife.
The wife was first and foremost required a "reverend subjection", to be fully submissive to her husband. She was to obey her husband's lawful commandments, as if they came from Christ himself. She was to be mild, obedient, and courteous. She was to dress and behave modestly, and to speak with meekness. The wife, however, was second-in-command in the household, and commanded the children and servants. Although the husband has final authority in all matters, he was expected to give his wife the latitude and authority to run, organize and manage the household. The wife was required to have the husband's consent before she dispose of any jointly-owned property; however she was entitled to do what she wanted with her personal belongings which she had prior to marriage, and with any gifts she received from friends or neighbors which were intended for her use. The wife was required to dwell with her husband wherever he should choose to establish himself. If a husband needed to take residence in a place not fitting for his wife, then she must live where he placed her, and come to him as soon as he required.

The Children.
A married woman in Plymouth Colony would typically have a child every two or three years throughout her child-bearing years; families with 8 or 10 children were not uncommon. During the early years of childhood, the mother was expected to be the primary teacher, role model and governor of the children; later in life the father was expected to take on a greater role, instructing them in work ethic, religion, morals, and values. Children were expected to both love and fear their parents, to be obedient in all things, to be submissive equally to mother and father, and to speak in a restrained and proper manner. Pilgrim parents did not "spare the rod," and corporal punishment was considered necessary for the proper upbringing of children. Children were expected to have the full consent of parents before taking up any occupation, and parental consent was required for marriage. Children were expected to help the household chores. When a parent or parents died, the children were expected to see to a proper burial, work to pay off any of their parents' debts, and to protect their parents' honor from defamation after their decease.