 The Husband
In
the Pilgrim household, the father was the head of the household. He was
expected to maintain his authority over his wife, children, and
servants. The husband was expected to love his wife with the same
passion and strength as Christ loved His Church. William Gouge, in his
Of Domestical Duties (a book published in 1611, and owned by
William and Alice Bradford) recommends that a husband be kind and
accepting of the things his wife does, provide her means of spiritual
edification, be courteous, protect her from danger, don't require her to
do activities unbecoming of her place, and yield to her "humble" desires
whenever possible. Gouge, along with several other Puritan authors,
including John Dod and the Pilgrims' pastor John Robinson, argue that
beating a wife for discipline was not appropriate or productive
(although not illegal, nor outright condemned). To deal with difficult
wives that do not properly submit to their husband's authority, they
recommended other disciplinary measures, such as depriving her of
liberty, and not permitting her to engage in the activities she desires.
 The Wife
The wife was first and foremost required a "reverend subjection," to be
fully submissive to her husband. She was to obey her husband's
lawful commandments, as if they came from Christ himself. She was
to be mild, obedient, and courteous. She was to dress and behave
modestly, and to speak with meekness. The wife, however, was
second-in-command in the household, and commanded the children and
servants. Although the husband had final authority in all matters,
he was expected to give his wife the latitude and authority to run,
organize and manage the household. The wife was required to have
the husband's consent before she dispose of any jointly-owned property;
however she was entitled to do what she wanted with her personal
belongings which she had prior to marriage, and with any gifts she
received from friends or neighbors which were intended for her use.
The wife was required to dwell with her husband wherever he should
choose to establish himself. If a husband needed to take residence
in a place not fitting for his wife, then she must live where he placed
her, and come to him as soon as he required. A married woman in
Plymouth Colony would typically have a child every two or three years
throughout her child-bearing years; families with 8 or 10 children were
not uncommon. During the early years of childhood, the mother was
expected to be the primary teacher, role model and governor of the
children; later in life the father was expected to take on a greater
role, instructing them in work ethic, religion, morals, and values.
 The Children
Children were expected to both love and fear their
parents, to be obedient in all things, to be submissive equally to
mother and father, and to speak in a restrained and proper manner.
Pilgrim parents did not "spare the rod," and corporal punishment was
considered necessary for the proper upbringing of children. Children
were expected to have the full consent of parents before taking up any
occupation, and parental consent was required for marriage. Children
were expected to help with the household chores. When a parent or
parents died, the children were expected to see to a proper burial, work
to pay off any of their parents' debts, and to protect their parents'
honor from defamation after their decease.
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Photographs on this page were taken on site at the Plimoth
Plantation Museum and Mayflower II by Caleb Johnson, © 2003. They are used with
permission of the Plimoth Plantation Museum.
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